The last Mother’s Day I was able to share with you was way back in 2010, at times it feels like an absolute eternity; at other times, like today for instance, it feels like yesterday. The pain feels so raw and fresh and I am struggling to cope with some of the memories.
I haven’t felt sad like this in quite a while, and yet today it seems ok, and I know that is because you are here with me.
I am so blessed to have had these children with you, and my only wish is that you could have watched them growing up into the totally amazing adults they have become. They are so much like you, Aidan is tall, and gentle and he has your eyes, which never hide anything. Amy is beautiful, strong-willed and fiercely independent too, just like you.
I remember clearly that day when you became a mom, rushing to hospital when we realised that you were in labour, and laughing because we hadn’t finished the Lamaze classes and we really didn’t have a clue.
I remember those sleepless nights sitting up with you when the kids, babies back then, wanted feeding, and you always kept your serenity about you, even when you felt as frazzled as a 7 day old slap chip. You also always insisted on me getting some sleep as I had work in the morning, as if you didn’t work hard enough as a mother.
I remember your intense pride in the kids and knowing that I never worried about finding you at sports events, because you were always the one cheering the loudest.
I also remember the last day you saw them, and insisting that they go on holiday, because you knew how stressed they were, and knew deep down that they needed to play and be kids.
Thank you for being the mother of our children, you did that damn difficult task gracefully and gently and the occasional salty phrase which always made me grin and remember your Yorkshire heritage.
I have tried in your absence to be the best parent I can be, I couldn’t be Mom, that simply didn’t work, but I know that your presence has guided me over some pretty rough waters, and I have emerged stronger at the other side.
Happy Mother’s Day my beautiful Susan, I know you are with us today.
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