Well, I did it, I surrendered my freedom, moved out of my townhouse and back in with my folks. Gosh, that does sound dramatic, and it really bothered me for a while, until I realized that I was more scared of change, than the change itself.
Yes, it is serious, but I am absolutely blessed that I have been able to fall back on my parents, so many people are less fortunate. This lock down due to Covid-19 has been desperately hard on so many people, and I honestly believe we haven’t seen the true impact of the lock down on our mental health.
I can only apologise for the hiatus since I last posted, it has been a fairly trying time, and I have had to make decisions which I didn’t particularly enjoy, and certainly put off, for probably way too long.
I have really tried hard to be positive since being retrenched, but I have struggled as time has dragged on, and some times I have felt just like giving up, but then I am reminded by something I keep saying to other people “There is no try, only do! – Yoda”. Giving up is not an option.
It has been hard picking myself up, almost impossibly hard at times to be honest, and I can see the warning signs, looking back on the past couple months. Hindsight is always remarkably and annoyingly clear, isn’t it?
My daily routine just fell apart, I was no longer particularly worried about my appearance, 7 days of beard growth is simply not attractive on anyone, I wasn’t up and about early like I have been virtually my whole life, and I could feel it tearing me apart.
Moving back in has been challenging, not least on everyone’s routine, but I think it is slowly shaking down to something workable. I feel a little rejuvenated and more like I have a purpose than I have in quite some time. I am still worried, but less anxious, if that makes sense.
My priorities have changed; life and compassion seem so much more relevant than a new car, new pair of shoes or the latest electronic device, and perhaps this is the change which I have been waiting for, I knew Covid-19 would change my life, albeit not in a way that I had anticipated.
Breathe change in, and treat everyone with compassion, because we honestly do not know what people are facing, and how their lives are impacted. Love is truly the greatest gift.
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